12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
