Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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