Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
