why didn't you poke me back
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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