taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My feet surprised me
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