ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
