you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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