Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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