He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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