we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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