I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
