I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
