kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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