adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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