Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
