i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
