he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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