last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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