Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
