It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
