it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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