16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sarcasm needs its own font
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
