my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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