evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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