In the future we'll all be gay
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
