I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
