Pappa wants mamma naked
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
