You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
