brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
