so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
