and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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