This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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