a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
