I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize