Only a mothe r could love this liver
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
