you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
