if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
