I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think people are normalizing furries
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
