Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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