Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
