After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
