i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
