I queefed so loud it echoed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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