I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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