No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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