Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
