Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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