playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
