On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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