One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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