found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
