I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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