you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
time to smoke my breakfast
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
