He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
