I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
