I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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