Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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